They Did WHAT?? The Staggering History Of Sex Toys

The Craziest Vintage Sex Toys

What kind of items do you think prehistoric humans used to masturbate? You’d be shocked by the history of sex toys.

Sex toys existed even without the technology we have today. Our ancestors had to get, um… creative. Some of these vintage sex toys are pretty gross and/or just flat out weird. This goes to show how powerful sex and our urges are. If you’re willing to go this far today, you might need some help.

  1. Goats Eyelid. YES the eyelid of a goat. How can they possibly use this as sexual pleasure? Apparently, they made the eyelid in a circle so it can fit around a penis and used it as a cock ring. This occurred around the Jing and Song dynasties in China. Can you imagine fucking a goat eye?? Geeze
  1. King Edward the VII. I’m not sure if this one is exactly weird/gross…. But it is incredibly lazy! King Edward the VII was obese and having sex was not the easiest He had a chair designed specifically for sexual act. The chair held up his weight and allowed him to move as little as possible while his partners did all of the work. The chair was also designed for him to have multiple partners.
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  1. Bread Dildos. Ancient Greeks used bread as dildos in two ways. When women were on a sex strike, they used bread to satisfy themselves during protest. The second way they were used was when men went away for the army. They gave their wives bread dildos to use when they were away. How did they manage to keep it erect after getting wet?……What’s great about the ancient Greeks is that they understood a woman’s pleasure matters too. Can’t say the same for many civilizations.
  1. Bird sperm balls.The Ming Dynasty believed a mythical bird had a huge sexual appetite. So they invented tiny balls made of metal and bird sperm to enter in the urethra of a penis so men can enjoy sex more.

What else did these people do back then??

Be honest, what weird object would YOU use as a sex toy? Your secret isn’t safe with us.

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