“Love is the sea where intellect drowns.” – Rumi
Love doesn’t exist. At least it’s not what you think.
Would you call the movie “Fatal Attraction” a love story?
Most people’s idea of love is not real which is why we tend to act crazy when we think we are in love. We’ve been brainwashed by society so we can buy the products they’re selling. For example, romantic movies.
I cannot stand how love is depicted in movies. We are all consciously aware that some of these love scenes are unrealistic but it’s still inserting these messages in our subconscious. Most movies glamorize stalking behaviors, crossing boundaries and unreal last minute plane tickets prices when you’re trying to stop a plane from taking off so you can confess your love to someone. Neither of these things are love.
We’ve been lied to. Love is a lie.
If it’s a lie, why does it make us act crazy?
What’s real is mental illness. When it comes down to it, love acts like a drug putting people in psychosis. So love is either a drug, psychosis or both.
People do crazy things while “in love.” We’ve heard of killings, magical spells and more lengths people go while in love. It seems to be unpredictable and uncontrollable… Love HAS TO BE a drug or psychosis because why else would we do such CRAZY things???
It makes us crazy because we are mislabeling unhealthy behaviors as love. Love doesn’t exist if you’re exuding toxic behavior.
How love resembles psychosis.
At the beginning of a new romance, most people lose touch with reality. You ever witness a friend in a new romance where they describe their new love interest as the most amazing thing in the world and when you meet said person, they seem so…. mediocre? Or have you, yourself, looked back at your exes wondering “What was I thinking??”
That is because when in romantic love, the brain overdoses on brain chemicals that resemble drugs. These “drugs” cause something similar to a psychosis. It releases brain chemicals like vasopressin, dopamine and adrenaline.
When “in love” people become straight up delusional. Which makes people ask “Is love real?” Especially if you had childhood issues growing up, it becomes very tricky. The brain can be desperate for the connection you were missing as a child and your brain can
Most people do not make good decisions under psychosis. They think their partner is better than they are and they experience mood swings like ecstasy then anxiety. The biochemicals in the brain change and produce symptoms similar to mental illnesses such as obsessive compulsive disorder.
Even science says it here: Love and Psychosis
How love acts like a drug.
Is love a drug? One of the many ways love makes us “crazy” is: Love gives you a literal high. The same neural system in your brain linked to drug addiction becomes active. Are you likely to make good decisions on drugs?….. Love dumbs you down. People in love are less able to focus and perform certain tasks. Love also increases risky behavior such breaking the law or skydiving.
People can become the most destructive drug there is. Obsession is basically like an addiction. You can even go through withdrawals. Why else do experts suggest you go NO CONTACT for at least 30-90 days after a break up. Because you need to go through the withdrawals- or get the person out of your system so you can have a CLEAR MIND before you revisit that situation again. Sounds like a drug addiction.
And to make matters WORSE…. society brainwashed us with unrealistic ideas of love. Love is NOT suppose to be codependent, you’re not suppose to lose your identity and your romantic partner is NOT suppose to be your everything. Your partner is a human being just like you.
So is love real?
Is love real? Romantic love doesn’t exist.
So there’s a difference between romantic love and true love. I compare romance with erotica. Erotica to me is the beauty and power of sex, not actually sex itself. Romance is the beauty and power of love, not actually love. Basically, erotica and romance are just aesthetics to me. In other words, NOT REAL.
True love is when you make the conscious commitment to the relationship and bettering each other. A daily choice. Romantic love is more superficial and out of touch with reality. An obsession. If you check the symptoms of romantic love, you will find these symptoms identical to accepted diagnostic for mental illness or a psychosis. It’s a manipulation of your mind. True love is not.
So love doesn’t exist as a thing. It’s not a noun. Love is a CHOICE because love is a VERB.
Love is intentional and a beautiful way of being.
You should not self sacrifice in love either. Losing your individuality or sense of self does an extreme disservice not only to yourself but to your relationship. Losing self turns into anger, regret and resentment. That’s why people “fall out of love” and get bored in their relationships.
True love is making conscious effort and decisions while maintaining the self. People are valuable and keeping your sense of self does everyone a favor. When you lose yourself in a relationship, you are operating from a place of emptiness which isn’t fair to you or the person you choose to love.
Is love real when it’s coming from NOTHING? No.
That being said, there is good news when your partner is starting to get annoying, less attractive and less kind…. That means your psychotic episode is fading! Now you’re back to reality and you now realize love is a choice.
Reality allows us to self reflect more accurately, practice relationship skills such as communication and compassion. This is a chance to build a bond based on REALITY.
There are health benefits to true love based on reality such as:
- Healing quicker
- Living longer
- Boost immune system
- Lower blood pressure
- Better heart health
- Higher pain tolerance
Again, is love real?
YES!
