Cheating is when you are deceitful in a relationship. So is watching porn cheating if you’re hiding it?
I find this topic so interesting. Because when I did my research to see what experts had to say about this very popular debate regarding porn, I didn’t find any information about WOMEN using porn to “cheat.”
Obviously I haven’t seen every single report on the big internet but I see mostly women being “cheated” on with porn. This is another reason why I think watching porn is considered cheating is complete BS. It feels very one sided. Check out what women say when asked “Is watching porn cheating?” The whole post is hypocritical. And I’m a woman.
Don’t get me wrong. People have the right to determine the rules in their own relationship… But to the people who think porn is cheating, there are a few things to consider. Especially if you have a partner who is not on the same page as you when it comes to watching porn.
Let’s define cheating first. Cheating is when you are crossing the boundaries established in the relationship behind your partner’s back. So technically, one can say porn is cheating because watching porn behind your partner’s back can be considered cheating. Porn can be a problem in a relationship.
So Is Watching Porn Considered Cheating Or Not??
The thing is, most people agree to be in a monogamous relationship so cheating would be engaging sexually with other people. It’s hard to say porn is cheating considering one is not engaging with someone else. Porn use is more personal that doesn’t involve anyone but the one masturbating or viewing it. People look to have solo time to relieve stress and tension.
The problem with demonizing porn in relationships is that it creates tension around masturbating. Demonizing porn is basically shaming your partner for pleasuring themselves. We already talked about sexual shame and how it can be harmful to one’s mental and physical health. So ask yourself… is masturbating cheating?
Policing what your partner can do with their very own body is not only fair, it’s extremely unhealthy. You don’t get to have agency over another person’s body. It isn’t fair to control someone’s mind either. That would be a power imbalance. It causes tension and secrecy.
Demonizing porn creates a very unhealthy relationship with sex in general which can destroy a relationship more than porn can. The monitoring of your partner’s porn use is one of the many reasons why cheating is common. Surpressing one’s natural innocent desires like masturbating can cause those feelings to resurface in pretty ugly ways.
If your relationship is threatened by porn, there is an underlying issue that needs to be addressed. I love tough situations because it makes you face the problems that are not in plain sight. This is the time to analyze what is truly going on.
Is it trust issues? You cannot have a good relationship without trust. Trust is a huge component in partnerships. Did someone in the relationship do something untrustworthy? Or does someone have trust issues due to their past? If it has something to do with past events, that is not fair to make someone pay for something they had no part in.
Is it self esteem issues? The person who is responsible for one’s self esteem is the person themselves. It is no one else’s job to accommodate one’s lack of self esteem. Making self esteem someone else’s problem makes one’s view of themselves even worse. We cannot control everything outside of ourselves so one would be pretty screwed if validation came from outside of us.
Address any underlying self esteem issues.
Is it incompatibility? We have already discussed the problem with sexual incompatibility, but this could also be an indicator of incompatibility in values. While our differences are what makes the world go round, the difference in core values or maybe religious beliefs can break a relationship eventually. So if you don’t see life and sex the way your partner sees, it may be time to go.
Is it because porn is unhealthy? Despite what many say, porn can be good for you. One of the reasons why some see porn being unhealthy is the unrealistic expectations porn creates. The thing is, people are not aware of healthy porn such as ElseCinema.com, FrolicMe.com and Shhhh.com. These porn sites are ethical and sensual. Check out my review on sensual porn.
Sooooo is watching porn cheating?
The bottom line is, there is NOTHING WRONG with someone having a good sexual relationship with themselves whether they are in a relationship or not. In fact, being a better lover towards yourself makes you a better lover to your partners. Porn is NOT cheating to us.
Is watching porn considered cheating to you? Why?
