When we say it’s good to suck in bed, we didn’t mean this way. Here’s how to be good in bed.
Having a conversation about sexual performance could be awkward and difficult if the sex isn’t good. It’s hard to tell someone they suck in bed and how to have sex.
Although we encourage open and honest communication, we are here to speak for your partners. If you want to know if your performance is low quality, we are here to tell you some possible signs you’re bad in bed…. and later how to be good at sex.
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The Signs You Aren’t Good In Bed
Sign #1: You somehow ran into this page. If you’re googling “signs you’re bad in bed,” you’re bad at it. It’s a sign that you are self conscious and aren’t confident enough to speak to your partner. Sex is a time and place to be vulnerable and in the moment. If you’re neither of these, you’re bad in bed.
Sign #2: You never ask your partners what they like in bed. Everyone is different when it comes to sex. While there are basic skills people can learn, people who are bad in bed assume there are cookie cutter ways to have sex. We have different body parts, different perceptions, different shapes, different interests etc… not everyone likes the same thing. People who are good in bed are good because they customize the experience.
Sign #3: You never had an ex call you for a booty call or never had a consistent FWB. People who are at least OK in bed would get a phone call from a horny person. It’s a bad sign when even a horny person doesn’t want to bother!
Sign #4: Your partner is dramatic in bed. Some people can’t tell the difference but if you suspect that your partner is being dramatic- like unnecessary screaming and moaning- they aren’t in the moment. They’re too focused on performing “correctly.” In fact, it makes you both bad in bed. Good sex keeps you grounded during.
Sign #5: It’s quiet after sex. Unless someone got fucked to sleep or senseless, if it’s quiet, that’s not a good sign. Good sex makes you giggly, feel satisfied, bonded and expressive.
Sign #6: You don’t do foreplay. You don’t warm up the engine first and that’s bad for the… vehicle. Especially for women, the body has to prepare for sex. Things need to get rock hard, need to get wet, need to warm up etc. Sex is better when the body is prepared for it.
Sign #7: You don’t like to give or take direction. You’re bad in bed when taking directions hurts your ego and you’re too shy to speak up when GIVING directions. Like we said in point #2, everybody is different and sex is personal.
Sign #8: You change positions when the person is reacting well. People are always making this mistake, not sure exactly why. A good response means KEEP GOING, not change, not go faster, not deeper, not harder or softer- leave things exactly the way they are when you’re getting good reactions.
Sign #9: You never have pillow talk. When your partner is not too thrilled about pillow talk, it’s not good. People get excited to talk about things when the sex is good. Good sex inspires pillow talk.
Sign #10: You’re way too focused on orgasm. Sounds counterproductive but if you’re hyper focused on the end game instead of enjoying the ride, you’re bad in bed. Good sex gets you in the moment or the zone. Being too orgasm focused means you put way too much pressure into sex making it not fun and relaxed.
Sign #11: You have body issues. Confidence is sexy af no matter what you look like. If you’re self conscious, your head is not in the game. When your head is not in the game, you’re bad in bed. People are having sex to have sex, not to analyze your body. They are already aroused by you if they agreed to have sex with you. People are too busy trying to feel good.
Sign #12: You move too fast. You don’t ease into it. You’re like a jack rabbit right from the beginning. You’re bad in bed if you’re not pacing yourself. Good sex requires build up and anticipation.
Sign #13: You don’t last long. When it’s over at the drop of a dime, there isn’t anything to process and enjoy. Your partner is left unsatisfied.
Don’t worry if you are seeing signs you’re bad in bed. People live and learn. Sex is a great way to explore things including exploring yourself. While exploring, not everything is perfect. Perfect roads aren’t fun.
Here’s how to be good at sex:
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How To Be Good In Bed
The good news is, there are simple ways to be better in bed. Here’s how to have sex the right way.
- Study your partner. Watch their reactions, non verbal and verbal cues. Learn their body and what to do with it.
- Make them feel special. Say and do things that make them feel good. Compliments like “You look so fucking good…” or forehead kisses and eye contact.
- Confidence. Confidence is easier said than done. But having some self compassion makes it easier and fun to learn things. And make yourself feel sexy with something you’re wearing or a scent. You can’t learn how to be good at sex without confidence.
- Be willing and open to learn new things. Especially if it’s a new partner. Having an open mind leads you to fun and spontaneous things.
- Don’t be afraid of exploring EVERYWHERE. With consent of course, don’t be afraid to explore the entire body. There might be something you discover that they never discovered on their own or with another partner. For example. kiss, the ear, neck, taint- touch in places that’s normally not touched.
- Be vocal. Sex involves all senses- including hearing. Say some dirty stuff.
- Set the mood. Maybe put on some nice music, excite all 5 senses with scents, visuals, aphrodisiac foods and more.
- Be playful. Do not take it too seriously. It is not meant to be that serious. Sex is suppose to be fun. Don’t think too much.
- Communicate. We talked about how communication helps you learn what your partner likes specifically. You can’t learn how to be good at sex without COMMUNICATION.
Forget the signs you’re bad in bed. We live and learn. Plus you have sex tips to learn how to have sex and you can learn from the Beducated banner below.
In order to have the best sex ever, you have to start with yourself. Learn to love yourself.