Do you picture your first lesbian experience as something you see on tube sites?
If you’re a first time lesbian, it’s never too late or too early to explore your sexuality as a woman. Besides, our western society is more accepting of female sexuality right? We have Only Fans girls and mainstream porn everywhere… Doesn’t that mean porn can teach us how to please women?
Actually, no.
Whether you are lesbian, lesbian curious, bi sexual, bi curious or even straight, you will not learn anything about female pleasure from mainstream porn sites. Even their girl on girl action is not about female pleasure. It may seem that porn reduces the sexual repression of women but mainstream porn is for the male gaze, not female pleasure.
HOWEVER, there are plenty of female pleasure focused porn on our stunning list of beautiful porn. Check it out of you want to see some incredible love making and see some lesbian sex tips in action. Also see the banners on this page if you’re lesbian curious.
Table of Contents
Lesbian Sex Myths
Speaking of lies, let’s begin with a few lesbian sex myths. if you’re a first time lesbian, you may have heard of these myths. Let’s learn what lesbian sex is NOT.
- You can’t get an STD. YES you can. Sex is sex. You’re still swapping bodily fluids. You can get an STD from lesbian sex via sex toys, oral- especially if you have cuts and sores on the mouth, from hands, rubbing vaginas- you get the picture. Get tested. Use dental dams.
- Lesbian sex doesn’t count. There are too many people who consider lesbian sex as less than sex. Our society is too obsessed with penetration with the penis. Sex is different for everyone but it’s all still…. Sex. Sex defined is when two people come together and touch each other’s genitals. Discounting the lesbian experience is a problem in itself.
- Lesbian sex is not hardcore. Lesbian sex can be just as hardcore and kinky as any other sex.
- Lesbians don’t like penetration. This is just as silly as saying if man likes it up his ass, he is gay. Penetration doesn’t mean a woman wants penis. The only thing that determines what’s gay/lesbian and what is not, is the sex of the partner you’re sleeping with. So you can like penetration and it’s not heterosexual if you’re a woman being penetrated by another woman.
- Lesbians know what women want because they’re women too. Because female pleasure is still taboo in many societies, not all women understand female pleasure. Some women don’t even know themselves! But that is ok, we are here to learn. Besides, every woman is different. Not all women like the same things.
- Someone has to be the “man.” I have news… lesbian sex is sex between… *drumroll please*… WOMEN ONLY. Sure, in some same sex sexual activities, one is the giver and one is the receiver- but that’s not the case at all in all same sex situations. Sex is whatever you want it to be. With consent.
The bottom line is, there is no cookie cutter way of lesbian sex just like there’s no one way to have heterosexual sex. Forget what you see in mainstream porn, let go of the assumptions, relax, communicate and enjoy.
Lesbian Safe Sex Tips
Since this may be your first time, there are a few things we suggest you do.
- Trim your nails. Make sure they are not sharp. Sharp nails can cause scrapes, burns and infections.
- Get condoms for dildos. You CAN get STDs from lesbian sex.
- Choose your own sex toys (if sex toys are involved) Because there is no male in lesbian sex, your options for phallus shaped toys are endless. If you want tiny, go tiny. If you want a monster cock dildo, get one. There are also many different shapes of strap ons- choose the one you feel comfortable with.
- Supplies to clean your toys. It is a must to make sure your sex toys are cleaned appropriately.
- Make sure the sex toys are body safe. Materials like glass and silicone are body safe because they are not porous, hypoallergenic and easy to clean. Unsafe or cheap sex toys can cause cancer and infections. Please do research.
Respect your body and respect your partners by being safe.
Lesbian Foreplay
The best foreplay for any kind of sex is to get yourself in the mood first. Put on some music, get dressed up and make yourself feel sexy. Since this is lesbian sex, get a mirror and masturbate in front of it. This way you can not only learn your own body, you can learn what your partner may like.
Here are some lesbian foreplay tips when you’re with your lesbian lover.
- Don’t rush. Explore her body by gently (or not) touching her all over. Observe what she reacts to. Take it slow.
- Kissing. Besides her lips, kiss her body. Pay attention to what she reacts to. It may tell you her erogenous zone.
- Talk dirty. Tell her the things she does that turns you on. Tell her what you want to do to her. Give her compliments. It doesn’t have to be vulgar and it also can be.
- Mutual masturbation. Watching each other masturbate a little is a great way to learn what you both like. Every woman is different and masturbates differently. Pay attention to how she touches herself and show her how YOU touch yourself.
- The 5 senses. Get some sex music on, give each other something sexy to look at, get some aphrodisiac foods like chocolate and wine, light candles with sexy scents and play with some sexy fabrics like a lace panty. It doesn’t have to be necessarily this list and you don’t have to cover all 5 senses.
- Relax. Be curious but don’t take things too seriously. This is not the LSATs, this is sex. The only thing that gets you a passing grade it communication and enjoyment.
Remember to go with the flow!
The Lesbian Sex
Now here is the fun part. It’s time to get down and dirty with these lesbian sex tips. As stated before, sex in general should be free flowing and every human body is different so there is no cookie cutter way to have sex. Keep in mind everyone is different. BUT there are a few pointers that can help as guides.
- Read how to give a woman an orgasm.
- Kiss and nibble her everywhere like her inner thighs. Kissing down below near her vagina builds anticipation and excitement.
- Communicate. Verbally and body language. Ask for guidance because every woman likes it differently.
- Go slow. Make her want it BAD with some foreplay and teasing. The more she wants it, the more pleasure she will get.
- Don’t forget her nipples. A lot of women (not all) get aroused by nipple play. Play with her nipples while kissing and/or going down if you can reach. The amount of pressure to squeeze with depends on the woman. Some life them gently squeezed, some hard.
- Use your whole mouth when doing oral, not just a little tongue. It’s like making out passionately with the vagina.
- Check out our oral sex tips to learn how to be a good head giver.
- Use sex toys if you want. Sex toys are kind of like a cheat code. You can use a vibrator on her clit while you penetrate her with your tongue and/or fingers. Or you can penetrate her with a dildo while sucking on her clit. Double the pleasure!
- Touch the G Spot. When penetrating with fingers, stimulate her g-spot which is located a few inches inside and close to her belly button. Do the “come hither” motion with your fingers.
- Use your fingers. Every woman is different. Some like fast rubbing, some like slow rubbing. Some like hard pressure, some like slow pressure. Many like circular motions, some like up and down motions. Take your time figuring out your lady. The best way to have sex is by not rushing and learning each other’s bodies.
- Strap ons. If using a strap on, it may feel weird if you’re the one wearing it. Loosen up, do not be stiff. Gyrate. See if she likes it fast or slow. Hard or soft.
- Scissoring. This is when two women rub their vaginas together. Think of it as rubbing a vagina but with your own vagina. Below is a gallery of scissoring positions.
Photo Credits: sexpositions.club
More than anything, ENJOY!! One of the best lesbian sex tips is: DO NOT be hard on yourself. Being hard on yourself can ruin the mood. Even if you’re not so skilled yet, be at least amazing company- because that is a big component of great sex.
