Are BDSM Relationships Abusive?

Does BDSM mean abuse?

Most people assume BDSM relationships are about abuse and power. I personally find it the complete opposite. BDSM relationships require a lot of trust and communication which to me, makes the relationship way more intimate than most. There is such a thing as a very healthy BDSM relationship despite its reputation. 

BDSM relationships are consensual. There wouldn’t be a consenting Dom without a consenting sub. Abusive people do not seek consent and they disrespect boundaries.

What does BDSM stand for?

B- Bondage

D- Discipline, Dom

S- Submission, Sadism

M- Masochism

BDSM is way more than sex and leather devices. BDSM is mostly mental in our opinion. It can be someone’s entire lifestyle. Some couples have playtime and some live this life 24/7 in their relationship. They have a set of rules they live by. Maybe even a contract. Some couples take it very seriously and society needs to give them the respect we give vanilla relationships.

Another misconception people have about these relationships is that they are dangerous. It can be but it’s mostly not. People within the relationships have a thing called “safe words” so when someone is in too much pain or a boundary is being crossed, a safe word is used. The equipment used is used with care. A safe word may be necessary. 

There’s also a thing most rookies forget. AFTERCARE. Aftercare is important in a BDSM relationship. It makes it a loving relationship. Some acts may be physically and emotionally taxing and its important to take care of your loved ones needs. Some peoples after care needs may be treating a bruise. Some might be as simple as getting ice cream after. It’s up to you and your partner.

Now here’s the fun part! The TYPES of roles in a BDSM relationship.

  1. The Dom or Domme. This is the person who gives all of the orders no matter what you’re doing during playtime.
  2. Master or Mistress. This person has complete ownership of their subs body.
  3. Daddy or Mommy. My personal favorite.. A daddy or mommy gives punishments or pleasure- whatever the inner child needs.
  4. Sub. A sub is the person to take orders no matter what the playtime consists of.
  5. Slave. A slave gives their master/mistress complete control over their body.
  6. Servant. A servant fulfills the needs in the household.
  7. Pet. Pets like to play the role of a puppy or a kitten. Or any domestic animal.
  8. Good girl/boy. Or a Little. Good boys/girls belong to their Mommy/Daddy
  9. Princess. A princess is a good girl by day and listens to Daddy and a slut by night.
  10. Brat. Another personal favorite. Brats like to misbehave just so they can get punishments.

Don’t forget TRUST and COMMUNICATION is KEY. In these relationships.

If you’re looking to explore these worlds, check out the links/banners below to find like minded people. Maybe you will find someone to indulge in your taboo sex fantasies.

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Party of 3- The Threesome Guide Including How To Get One

Is your relationship in trouble? Then please disregard this blog entry. Threesomes ARE NOT for fixing your relationship problems. A threesome (adding another person-including a baby but I digress) only AMPLIFIES your relationship problems. Read something else.

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History is frequently lied about which is why I am so passionate about sexuality and art. Sexuality and art are forms of truthful human expression, in my opinion and you can find it anywhere in history. It is widely believed that gender fluidity is only a recent phenomenon. But sexuality and art from the past says otherwise. It goes way back.

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